"A mistake that makes you humble is better than an achievement that makes you arrogant" - Author Unknown.
I think many of us have to hear these words at some point in our lives, don't you? I certainly appreciated reading them today! Actually, it's not too difficult to overcome making a mistake during a grooming session.
You see, success without setbacks is impossible. Sure you can waste all of your time trying to avoid mistakes but how do you learn if not by trying and failing and trying again at new things?
I found training to be a dog groomer quite depressing overall and dog treatment aside, team morale was practically non-existent!
Instead of empowering us, our trainer warned us never to attempt to groom an "aggressive" dog because a bite could end our career. We were also told not to attempt to train a dog to cooperate because it wasn't our jobs and we wouldn't be paid for it.
Instead, we were told to refer "difficult" dogs to more experienced groomers and do what was necessary to "get the job done".
Of course, I couldn't help myself but ask our trainer, "so how does a groomer become experienced without first working with an aggressive dog and developing their skillset?"
Needless-to-say, I didn't get 'Student of the Week'!
But rather than feel motivated and inspired, the majority of us left feeling uninspired, incapable and afraid of doing the wrong thing and as a result, only a handful of us went on to actually open a business after training had finished.
Is it any wonder that many groomers fear making mistakes?
It's not just in the grooming industry either, in general mistakes are often frowned upon in any capacity. They are seen to be shameful, unprofessional and often, inexcusable.
But if we are honest with ourselves, don't we all make mistakes, even the very "best" of us?Surely the only mistake worth frowning upon is the one that we make in trying to avoid making mistakes!
To me, mistakes are a mandatory part of self and professional development - if you aren't making mistakes, you aren't even trying.
In this post I want to dissect the psychology of mistakes and hopefully help you to embrace mistakes going forward with humility and an openess to learn something new.
#1. Assess The Lead Up to The Mistake Itself.
A mistake doesn't come from nowhere - there is a process that leads to the mistake itself so what was it?
For example, even a dog bite has a series of steps prior which we call calming signals that could have been identified early to avoid the event from transpiring.
But for the purposes of this post, perhaps it was a mindset or belief that led to the mistake (for example, dog's require a firm approach) or maybe it was a specific piece of equipment (you forgot to check the blade on your clipper and ended up taking the coat way too short - oops!).
Life has a sense of humour and sometimes likes to throw a spanner in the works when we are stressed or simply not feeling 100%, but chances are if you take stock of the steps prior to the event, you will see the warning signs or the areas in your approach that could have been adapted to result in a much different outcome.
You could dig even deeper still and ask yourself why did you not see that the blade was shorter than you had intended to use?
Perhaps you were distracted in conversation with your team mate, or maybe you were up all night nursing a sick child and lacked concentration?
Hindsight is 20/20, but with a little bit of work, you can make sure the mistakes of your past influence for the better, the decisions you make in similar scenarios going forward.
Free Resource: A fantastic resource I would like to offer you while we're on this topic is Module One - Self Care for Professional Groomers. You can get access to this amazing mini course for free here (everyone deserves to get access to some support and mental health is super important).
Take it from someone who continues to make mistakes, it does get easier and the sooner you accept that they will happen, the quicker it's going to be to accept that they are a part of your life.
If you embrace your mistakes openly and with humility, you can actually build more trusting relationships going forward as well, after-all, nobody wants to see a person who portrays themselves as perfect.
When you step into your mistakes with an openess you relate to the masses and you earn respect from your peers. People feel safer around the person who can be unapologetically honest about their flaws - the person who portrays themself as perfect in every way simply cannot be trusted. Why? Because their lying. It's as simple as that (nobody is "perfect").
#2. Damage Control to Overcome Making Mistakes During A Grooming Session
Is the mistake you have made now having a broader effect on your business?
Try not to panic and/or overthink. No, seriously, this is not the time to let your emotions control the series of events that follow (more on this in just a sec!).
You can control what happens next and help to salvage the outcome with a little clear-thinking and damage control.
Having clear policies in place to safeguard events that may transpire is one of the very first things a business owner should do when it comes to due diligence.
For example do you have a process to follow in the event a dog is injured or hurts someone on your premises? Do you have adequate training to manage injuries? Do you have the required insurances to help support your business financially if need be?
True Story: one of my students recently shared a post with our community detailing a series of events that ultimately led to the dog in her care biting another groomer while they were working on removing a matt. She felt awful and went on to explain how, looking back, she could identify the different "mistakes" she made that led to this tragic outcome. She was looking for support but also hoping that her honesty would help other members in the community (which it did).
Are you confident and able to demonstrate professionalism with honesty and transparency, and what have you in place to help diffuse potential conflict?
Of course, there are also mistakes in the grooming environment that should never have ever have happened! For example, placing a dog in a drying cabinet for too long would be a very difficult reason to justify a dog fatality, but what about a dog with a medical condition that suddenly passes away while in your care?
Regarding my student above, things for her could have quite quickly escalated, a different relationship with her co-worker could have led to a story being leaked to the local press - reputation and business could have been ruined, the true events lost in a web of hear say and speculation. It happens all the time! A wise person once said, "if you don't watch the news you're uninformed, but if you watch it, you're misinformed!".
But my student was prepared.
Because she is so great at showing the world her values and demonstrating her skills in cooperative grooming, she has been able to develop a reputation based on respect and trust. The groomer who was bitten understands the risk of grooming dogs and that it's not always the dog's fault and the carer who was present at the time it occurred, felt comforted that her beloved dog was not being mislabelled "aggressive". Basically, the mandatory aftercare was executed accordingly including first aid for the groomer, customer support for the carer and dog, and insurance for any potential claims.
How we handle things internally with ourselves and staff and externally to our clients and the general public is incredibly important in our recovery of a mistake, especially if it is more serious.
How you safeguard the integrity of your business and its reputation should be an integrated part of your damage control policy.
When you are faced with an event that is or isn't your fault, do you know how to manage any potential damage it causes to your business and/or you as a person?
"Failing to prepare, is preparing to fail!" - Benjamin Franklin
#3. Embrace the Lesson
I know you would probably like to breeze through life without ever having to face the feelings of inadequacy or inexperience when you make a mistake, but where's the fun in that really?
"Every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries a seed of an equivalent or greater benefit" - Napoleon Hill.
Â
If you accept that mistakes carry with them important lessons that will enable you to grow you can transform them into your superpower.
Mistakes that inspire growth can't possibly hold you back from achieving! Instead, they become the fuel to ignite the burning fire in your belly to keep pushing forward.
And sometimes the fear of making a mistake is not in how you feel about yourself but in how others might judge you. Perhaps you worry that your friends will laugh at you or your competitors will relish in your failure, either of which can be SO debilitating.
What I often say to people is if you are proactive in owning and embracing your mistakes, openly, you take away other people's power to humiliate you.
You beat them to the punch line.
There's actually another great post about this topic by Psychologist and Author of ''Feel The Fear and Do It Anyway', Dr Susan Jeffers here.
True Story: My cousin is a red-head (as it turns out, so is my youngest son!) and as a child he would often be ridiculed for having red hair.
Kids can be cruel and there were plenty of days where my cousin would feel miserable after a day at school being called all sorts of names such as "carrot top", "ginger nut" and so on.
But one day, he decided to embrace the fact he was a red-head and the next time the kids began to ridicule he turned around and he said, "yes, I'm ginger - who cares?".
That change of mindset, and those words were life-changing to him because they stripped the bullies of their power instantly and suddenly, the teasing ceased.
Much the same as my story, if you are stopping yourself from progressing out of fear of how others might react and/or judge you, you can take back that power by being the first person to acknowledge your errors.
I love these opportunities because they tell the world "I don't profess to be perfect but still I am absolutely capable of taking responsibility for my errors and learning from them!".
Next time you start to worry about how others think of you, try shifting your mindset and let me know how you feel once you do (I bet you feel empowered!).
#4. Future Planning to Prevent Repeating the Same Mistakes.
Now that you know how to overcome letting mistakes hold you back, it is time to leave your fears behind and embrace learning and growing like the amazing person you are!
Remember: The fear of making mistakes is common, and you are not broken for allowing self-sabotaging thoughts to take over sometimes. Just because you have made mistakes and have struggled to push forward out of fear of making them again, doesn't mean there's no hope to change the narrative.
All anyone can do is accept that in order to control how we move forward with our business and life for the matter, we must relinquish control.
Understanding that mistakes are unavoidable but also necessary is the key to a more open and stress-free life.
#5. Act, Don't React.
I wonder if anyone has ever gave you this good advice...
Action is the mother of progress and reaction can be the killer of dreams.
If you haven't been taught about this basic principle before let me tell you a little more about how it works.
Reaction puts you back in the headspace of those who are rooting to see you fail because, for the most part, they are waiting for you to slip up! They want you to lose composure, to react in your vulnerability and to show the world that you aren't "perfect".
But you already know you aren't perfect, so who cares?
When you make a choice to not react and instead devise a plan to show the them and the rest of the world how you can transform an error into an almighty win, it's like they say "actions speak louder than words".
Use these opportunities to do something positive about it - show the world how you can overcome an obstacle and even thrive from it!
More opportunities have been severed through reacting on emotions and impulse than anything else, so some final thoughts on this point are:
practice humility and learn to be the bigger person.
take criticism on the chin and when it's valid take it onboard.
think before you react and then act accordingly.
remember that there are people out there waiting for you to slip up - don't under any circumstances give them your power!
and if you have a moment of weakness and react first, remember this is just another mistake that you can learn from - read this post again and keep pushing forward!
How does The Holistic Grooming Academy help to Empower Students to Embrace The Learning Experience with Courage?
I've said many times before that anyone can be a holistic groomer but not everyone can be a HGA Holistic Groomer, we're just a whole different kettle of fish!
Seriously though, anyone can be anything they want to be if they put their minds to it and are prepared to work hard.
But many people struggle so much to step out of the web of procrastination due to the fear of making mistakes that they need someone in their corner encouraging and supporting them to get on with it - this is where our community can really help, this is what makes the HGA different!
Our community genuinely champions our students and members in a way that empowers them to believe in their ability to overcome anything.
While we are a grooming school at heart, we also pride ourselves in providing our community with opportunities to work on themselves - we invest in their self care, we invite professional psychologists and confidence coaches into our space to deliver workshops.
We care about your well-being.
We also believe that everything is connected and in order to really achieve the very best results in our business, we must strive to work on our self care.
We really dive into this topic in module one and help prepare our students for their learning journey with us but also, in other aspects of their lives. By the end of it, they not only have a sense of direction but also a bespoke care plan that plays to their strengths while helping to develop their weaknesses because it's all important.
The HGA really does welcome everyone to join their community, and I personally would love to extend that welcome to you now.
If you feel my words have resonated with you in any way today, please consider taking module one for free here.
You don't have to sign up to the rest of the course if you don't want to but just FYI, if you do enrol on the self care module you do get the chance to enrol on the complete course for 20% off the normal fee!!
PS. Did you happen to see my post on why groomers are often not valued as respectable pet professionals?
Sometimes our fears can stem from the belief that the General Public don't regard groomers as reputable professionals which ties into this topic nicely - it's all relevant. Check it out here if you have time, I'd love to hear what you think of it!
Comments