It's Not About You - It's About Them: Moving Beyond Defensiveness in Professional Groomers

Stressed Dog Being Blowdried

Whenever I publish a somewhat "controversial" post, I've noticed something that happens every single time that makes me feel incredibly sad: brilliant, passionate groomers shutting down the moment someone raises concerns about conventional practices. The defensive walls go up, the conversation stops, and progress comes to a halt. I really need my readers to understand - whenever I have pointed out areas for improvement in grooming practices, it's never been about you.

The Instinct To Defend

As a 'highly sensitive person' myself, I get it. I really do.

When someone questions techniques you've used for years, methods you were taught by well-respected (and loved) mentors, and/or attempts to discredit techniques you have seen to have worked many times before, it obviously is going to feel personal.

Your expertise, even your intention, is obviously going to feel under attack.

Your professional identity? Well, let's just say you can feel judged by someone you believe is trying to tarnish your ability and reputation.

And here's the thing: your defensive response - the knee-jerk desire to kick back with reasons to validate your beliefs, the innate need to lash back in anger and self-protect all that you know - is completely animalistic.

Defensiveness is how your body protects itself against a perceived threat.

All sentient beings feel safest:

• being with the people they know and trust

• doing things they know and trust doing

• doing things they know and trust doing, with the people they know and trust

There's no denying that you are more likely to take the advice from a person you like, respect, and trust more than a stranger you don't. So why the heck would you listen to me?

But while it's true that defensiveness is indeed primitive and reflexive in nature, I would like to challenge you to think about the potential damage it can cause when it comes to your professional development, specifically.

While we can all agree that our survival response is vital to survival (d'uh!), how does it bode when it comes to helping us challenge norms to evolve with the times?

What if our defensiveness is directly harming our ability to change for the better?

Shifting The Focus: It's About THEM

Every observation, every suggestion for change, every uncomfortable conversation about conventional grooming practices I've made/had, has one focus: animal welfare, it's about:

• The trembling Bichon who's learned that grooming means force and restraint.

• The Golden Retriever who pants and drools with stress before you've even picked up the brush.

• The Chow Chow who is instantly blacklisted just for looking a certain way.

• The Romanian Rescue dog who has never learned that human touch can be gentle, kind, and consensual.

For example, I'm not attacking your skills when I talk about the limitations of specific restraining methods, nor am I saying never to use a restraint ever again. What I am saying is, there may well be an alternative approach that results in a better experience for the dog in your care.

Equally, when I question the "just get it done" mentality, I'm not undermining your professional judgement. I'm highlighting that experience matters to the animals in your care, and they deserve a groomer who understands and acknowledges this.

Love for the Industry, Not Criticism of Professional Groomers

Every debate I have about grooming practices comes from a place of profound love for this industry and a genuine desire to support groomers in ways I can.

I've watched countless groomers burnout from endless experiences with "difficult" dogs, express feeling increasingly frustrated that they don't seem to be making any progress (no matter how much they try to show them there is nothing to fear), and eventually resort to blacklisting dogs - all because they can't decipher what really could have been relieved and/or resolved with a different approach.

I've also witnessed the toll that conventional methods take on dogs too, many of which go on to develop serious and chronic health disorders that I suspect is the result of repetitive exposure to grooming-specific trauma.

Note, the word "trauma" sounds awfully scary and can instantly evoke a knee-jerk reaction of feelings of anger, but let me be clear here, trauma in grooming environments can be something as "insignificant" as restraining a fearful dog for grooming tasks - it doesn't necessarily mean a groomer is smacking the dog into walls, which I feel is often what many instantly default to imagining when I use the term in my content.

And so I repeat: my observations about our industry are NOT personal attacks on individual groomers at all. They never were, and they never will be. Sure, I may make a cheeky reference here or there - I have an awkward sense of humour - but I've never intended to hurt a soul.

The Evolution Our Industry Deserves

Because our industry deserves evolution, and we deserve to be seen as more than stylists who "enjoy making dogs look pretty".

When people say that competitions help show the world just how "technical" our role is, I die a little inside.

For example, the word 'technical' can disconnect us from our emotions - we can think of computers, systems and processes, and mechanics. But dogs are not machines, and we are not servicing a computer when we take on the responsibility to care for them.

But in the context of a care profession, the term 'technical' is more broadly used to describe "specialised skills and knowledge" in a specific profession.

It's important to remember that words can be translated differently from person to person, which means we should be mindful of the message we are giving off when we are using them to describe our roles, and when we are using certain terms, we must also be sure to effectively communicate what we mean when we use them to prevent any misunderstandings.

Yes, the skill of styling is very technical, as is the knowledge needed to do our roles efficiently, but what about the soft skills needed for our roles?

What about:

• empathy

• compassion

• effective communication

In my opinion, we should first be focusing on being recognised and respected for the parts of jobs that actually enhance the quality of life a dog has - styling skills should be the cherry on the cake.

We deserve to be recognised and respected for the ways we can approach our roles differently to contribute to the prevention of pain, illness, and suffering - while styling is an admirable skill, it should be a desirable one, but not one that measures our success.

While many groomers still desperately try to hold onto styling as a way to demonstrate professional excellency, ask yourself:

Does styling demand a respect that's meaningful, or does it merely tell the world we are talented with a pair of scissors?

How does grooming as an art form increase the chances that other pet care providers take us seriously when we attempt to contribute to the quality of life a dog has?

Does styling dogs help to achieve early intervention of dog-related medical disorders? Does it help to educate the public on how to care for their dogs underneath the surface of the coat?

Moving Beyond the Defensive Response

I've been working on myself a great deal this past year, and when someone raises concerns about the way I work or the things I say, I've been trying to work on how I receive their feedback.

It's become an important part of the process for me to learn how to receive feedback with grace (which can be challenging) and with an open heart. It's incredibly challenging because, whether we like it or not, we can be tempted by our egos, especially when we also truly believe our way is best.

So here's what I try to do when faced with challenging feedback:

• Pause before reacting. Take a breath. Remember that the person speaking likely shares your love for dogs and respect for the grooming profession.

  
  

• Listen with curiosity, not defensiveness. Ask yourself: "What if there's something here I haven't considered?"

  
  

• Separate your identity from your methods. You are not your grooming techniques. You're a professional who can learn, adapt, and grow. Changing your approach doesn't diminish your expertise - it enhances it.

  
  

• Focus on the dogs. In every conversation about industry practices, bring it back to the animals. What would be best for them? What would reduce their stress? What would make their grooming experience more positive?

A Call for Open Hearts and Minds

I'm honestly not asking you to abandon everything you know and love, feel ashamed of your current practices, or even hang up the grooming shears for good, because:

I know you love the dogs you care for.

I know you are amazing at what you do.

And, I know I'm far from perfect myself.

I'm only asking that you see past the glitz and glamour of styling for a second to see grooming as more than just washing, bathing, and styling a dog.

Ask yourself:

What impact do you have, and could potentially have, on the dog in your care if you were to adapt your process to suit their individual needs, rather than follow what a textbook tells you to do?

The future of grooming shouldn't be about how a dog looks over and above how a dog feels.

The future of our industry should be more about educating the world on how grooming can enhance the health, well-being, and overall quality of life a dog has.

The future of grooming should be about professionals grasping every opportunity they can to demonstrate ethical and updated dog care to the general public, over and above their artistic talents, because this is where we will make the biggest impact.

At the end of the day, it's not about protecting our egos or defending our methods out of fear of being cast aside and/or called a "bad groomer" - there's too much energy consumed in obsessing about who is better and not enough consideration of the impact our approach and methods make on the actual lives of the animals in our care.

Again, ask yourself:

How can we contribute our skills to helping improve welfare standards in our sector?

How can we demonstrate our value enough to be considered invaluable assets to the broader pet care community so that we can effectively contribute to the quality of life a dog has?

There's no stopping science evolving, yet our industry remains stagnant when it comes to how we teach and support future groomers - while many things have changed, not enough has changed to warrant the respect we so desperately crave.

Trust me, when it comes to veterinary and behaviour professionals, groomers are not yet considered assets, but that's not to say that we can't change common perception.

If we can step into our vulnerability and work together to improve standards, we can position ourselves so high up the pedestal of pet care that we could quite easily demand a substantial increase in our pricing, allowing us to reduce the number of dogs we groom in a day to allow for a more bespoke and dog-centred approach which also helps to prevent burnout as well.

Let me know your thoughts!

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